before and after

Three decades in,

I finally grasped a few truths

you’d think I would’ve gathered

long ago.


In some relationships, we spend

a few lifetimes doing things we don’t

want to do, for reasons we can’t


Then, if we’re lucky, we meet someone with whom

we can just be, and all others are rendered

obsolete. It’s been my experience that few of us do this.

When we forget our former expectations,

we find ourselves in such amazing company.


In our careers, we find that what we’re doing

doesn’t define us–who we are–as people.

It doesn’t mean we’re unhappy in our current positions,

but it does mean that we are free to change direction.

We sometimes forget that.

What was once labeled a mid-life crisis, then, could be

just a chance to evolve.


In our own lives, we forget that being selfish

isn’t really a bad thing. If we don’t explore

and challenge ourselves honestly,

how can we truly complement someone else

(if that is what we want)?

I made a list of things I wanted to do when I was young,

and I started doing them. They weren’t things I planned

on doing with someone else–they were just for me.


This is all a work in progress.

Results aren’t guaranteed, but then again, what is?

I think we all should all remember this:

the Way We’ve Gone isn’t necessarily

the Way We’re Going.

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