Monthly Archives: April 2014

I can feel the machine shutting down in sections

Little clicks from the furthest reaches

tick away the time.

Eighty-six days ago subzero sun beamed through the

snow blowing off the roof, and the particle effect

was calming.

It was only a matter of time before winter ended,

we said.

Here, seasons stopped sizing up the year.

The water moves as it always did, indifferent to

what we think of the cold underneath.

 

 

 

 

Holland

After hours of brown fields and empty trees, the land was a little different.

Winter held on in snow banks in open defiance of spring.

Fog made the town silent, and rental houses were empty–

quiet, even for a Sunday morning,

Hands turned crimson as one lake emptied into the vast Other.

A lone fisherman and his dog sat motionless next to Big Red with still lines.

I nodded and offered a low good morning.

The ice moving past in the water made me think of retrograde.

Then, land’s end:

cold as far as I could see.

The concrete walkway stood over boulders stacked against time.

I walked out on the snow as the water lapped arrhythmically, oblivious.

I felt small.

And vast.

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Without a reason or purpose

If nothing else, our continuing search for Something Better will (at least) dull the pain of these current positions, which are best filed under Not Good Enough.

As winter ends, we barely have our sea legs as we wobble into March. Somehow, the seasons matter less this year.

I didn’t make any resolutions this time, but I did stop wondering What If, and then I really started to see.

This is a good year to undo everything that has been. The idea here is living. The methods are not as important as the results.