Radio silence on my end for a few weeks as I have been watching too much television and overconsuming. Middle-of-the-night wake-ups and the nagging feeling of would-be subatomic reactions and neurological firestorms, but not necessarily paired with direct action. Somethingsomethingsomething Kinetic vs Potential, et cetera.

This is the part where I impart some wisdom. This is the part where we alter our behavior. This is the part where a string of words creates a chain reaction in you and in me and years from now we remember this as the high-water mark. This is the part where everything smoldering explodes in a brilliant supernova and you destroy your old life.

Modern angst getting you down? Check out Gary Vaynerchuk. Super random encounter online and long-dead circuits began whirring again. This terrible machine is alive. I will never let it die again.

Esquire publishes “What I’ve Learned”–a collection of wit and wisdom from American icons. Some are more iconic than others. They are extended Top Ten lists, and mostly, they are great. 

However, it depends on the speaker. The voice of the Learned.

Every day I drive to work to a job that does not fulfill me, and I think about what I have learned. On the drive home, a similar pattern.

Disclaimers:

I’ve actively participated in CBT. I still do. I read voraciously. I am not pursuing my dreams right now. This is a holding pattern.

Today five of my favorite stayed after school to work ahead of their peers. They met the deadline others did not. Our easy laughter and their dedication to better themselves reminded me why this job matters, and why these moments count. Yet the draw remains. A mysterious pull towards an Other. It will be this way for a while.

November is ending again. This is the thirty-seventh one. December is a couple thousand miles, but the number of broken promises will be substantially fewer than before. 

There are yet a few things I have left to show you, friends. There is always more behind the curtain. Not just for me. For all of us. 

Draw your line. I’ll draw mine. Here: our fortifications.