The summer after I finished the internship, I took a position in Virginia
and told myself I couldn’t wait for something to open up
around home, which was neither true nor accurate.
(By then, I didn’t have a home–just a place where I slept at night.)
It took a week to get my bearings–to figure out my commute,
judge the local places, maybe find kindred spirits.
At quitting time the third Friday, I drove east, winding along back roads between
the Rappahannock and York Rivers.
I parked where the pavement ended, took off my socks and shoes,
and walked over small dunes to reach the water.
The Chesapeake Bay was vast and cold, but when I closed
my eyes, I was young again.
The ocean was infinite and we could be anything we wanted
I didn’t think about the eastern shore on the other side,
the last division between the known and possibility.
The sun was behind me as I traced the horizon’s blue line north and south,
and everything was quiet.
I stood there for a while, the cold water lapping against my shins.
I watched the dark blue water and wondered what could
happen in the years ahead.
It was a long time before I found home again, and it changed
locations a few times.
A few thousand days later, I turned the glass inward.
I had been walking in the wrong direction.
The drive takes a little longer now, and I don’t always
know where the winding roads lead.
Every weekend I die and am born again.
I stand there and close my eyes while everything goes quiet.
The ocean is limitless again.