There’s this idea that we have to work certain jobs and appear a specific way
and then there’s real life, shaking its head at us.
We know what makes us happy, and yet we spend years
–years, of our very short lives!–
doing these things that aren’t symptomatic of our happiness.
I know not all of us will be lucky enough to love what we “do”–American for
“what employment we currently have.” I think that’s okay.
I think there are other worlds than these ones we’ve fooled ourselves into.
I don’t love my career.
I don’t hate it either.
I know exactly what makes me happy. I know in what I lose myself.
That doesn’t mean it will work out for me; I might not ever be paid to do what I love.
It also doesn’t mean I am allowed to give up, either.
So why am I not doing what I love? I don’t know. Why aren’t you? Why aren’t all of us?
Today, I didn’t want to get out of bed.
I let the work week wear me down.
I felt sorry for myself for some of the thoughts I entertained. (This was my choice to do so.)
I considered my options: could I call off from life today? In general?
This is a daily routine. And I’m sick of it. I’m tired of myself.
I don’t want to waste the time I don’t have.
If you feel the same way, let’s challenge each other.
Let’s keep track of what we’re doing, and what we’re not.
Let’s be honest with each other, because we can wake up and another couple decades will have passed us by.
Let’s fucking do this.