the thing is, all of a sudden, the years have piled up behind you

and you’re sitting there numbly for a second,

not quite feeling sorry for yourself just yet, but a little bewildered,

worrying the possibility of repeating the same processes–

someone cracks a joke, and says, (thank god)

“oh shit, do you remember when?” and for a few minutes

you’re off the hook, but really all you’ve done is push it back,

and maybe down, deeper than before, but

fuck it, keep going and devour yourself again

(practice makes perfect) until you finally

raise your fists and destroy

what’s left

burn it all down

and tip your glass again;

there’s more